Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
