What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
