i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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