So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
