i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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