4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
