covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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