one two three fourrrrnication!
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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