I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I just found puke in my bra..
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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