Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
