my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
