Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
