at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize