There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
