My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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