Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
