I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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