captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
