Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
