We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
