hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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