He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
