There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize