none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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