she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
