That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
false alarm. still invincible.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
