I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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