i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
