if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
