We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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