so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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