Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Are we still banned from the library?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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