You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
