Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize