brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
wakey wakey hands off snakey
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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