oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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