True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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