Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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