On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize
