Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
