my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
