census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Randomize
