I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
did you just send me my own nude
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
