My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
