He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Randomize
