I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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