Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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