he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
