Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
two words: eviction party
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
