some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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