this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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