census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Randomize
