he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
