Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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