i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
We just shotgunned beers for America
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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