Already got asked if we're dating
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
