i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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