I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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