So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize