When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
