The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
