nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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