Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
