Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize