I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
