whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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