You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
