Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
