lets start a swedish sibling band together
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My ass is underappreciated
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
