I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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