The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
