I want to stick my p in your. b.
Your dad touched me again.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
my liver is dry heaving
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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