I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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