if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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