White coat. Heels.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
