the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize